i bet people dont understand that im joking 800% of the time
a woman has twins and gives them up for adoption
one of them goes to a family in egypt and is named amal the other goes to a family in spain they name him juan
years later juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. upon receiving the picture she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of amal
he responds “theyre twins if youve seen juan youve seen amal”
Hahahahaha took me way too long
SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKERS THERES NO JOKE OR CLEVER COMPLAINT AT THE END OF THIS POST BECAUSE FUCK EVERYTHING. I BET YOU THOUGHT YOU WOULD SEE SOME STUPID FACE OR PAINFUL MEMORY FROM SHERLOCK HUH?? NOPE JUST THIS STUPIDLY LONG POST. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ITS THE ULTIMATE FUCK YOU HAHAHAHAHAHA I HAVENT SLEPT IN 3 DAYS.
Best post ever.
- Drink plenty of water.
- Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
- Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
- Live with the 3 E’s - Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy
- Play more games.
- Read more books than you did in 2011.
- Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
- Sleep for 7 hours.
- Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And while you walk, smile.
- Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
- Don’t have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
- Don’t over do. Keep your limits.
- Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
- Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip.
- Dream more while you are awake.
- Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
- Forget issues of the past. Don’t remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
- Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don’t hate others.
- Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.
- No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
- Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
- Smile and laugh more.
- You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
- Call your family often.
- Each day give something good to others.
- Forgive everyone for everything.
- Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
- Try to make at least three people smile each day.
- What other people think of you is none of your business.
- Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
- Do the right thing!
- Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
- However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
- No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
- The best is yet to come.
- Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.
He just shit on your whole life, bitch.